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Why Men Marry Bitches: A Woman's Guide to Winning Her Man's Heart |  |
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Why Men Marry Bitches: A Woman's Guide to Winning Her Man's Heart | |
Never shy and always laugh-out-loud funny, Sherry Argov's Why Men Marry Bitches is a sharp-witted manifesto that shows women how to transform a casual relationship into a committed one. With the grittiest of girlfriend-to-girlfriend detail, Argov removes the kid gloves and explains why being extra nice doesn't necessarily mean he'll be more devoted. The guide shares real-life "no holds barred" interviews with men who answer the following in raw detail:
How do men manipulate a relationship to keep it casual?
Do men deliberately push women's emotional buttons?
How can she convince him commitment was his idea?
How can she invite a proposal without saying a word?
Whether you are single, married, recently separated, or just fed up with your family members telling you to fetch a husband because time is running out, Why Men Marry Bitches is the must-have guide that will show you how to exude confidence, win his heart, and get the love and respect you deserve.
作者简介 Sherry Argov is a radio personality and a contributor on Fox News Channel. Her work has appeared in magazines, such as Cosmopolitan, Glamour, Playboy and Esquire.
媒体推荐 Spot Reviews
1.Hat's Off to Sherry for a Great Book! Men Love Women Who Love Themselves, December 12, 2006
By Barbara Rose, PhD "Born To Inspire" (Borntoinspire.Com, USA)
I really like this book! It's a great read, no holes barred, tell it like it REALLY is book, and it's the TRUTH!
Who YOU are, what you love, your individual preferences and your backbone to dare to have the courage to be and express yourself EXACTLY as YOU want to, gives you the backbone, and the real inner confidence that is essential to a relationship - that you CAN LIVE WITHOUT - so you never buckle under and compromise your truth and dignity for anyone, ever.
Also, you're not NEEDY, you are LIVING and being just who you are, and if he doesn't like it, then he can buy a doormat at the local auto supply shop.
It takes GUTS and tremendous SELF LOVE to really be yourself, and feel complete solo - then a surprising thing happens, because you don't need, you receive! And He receives the best too, once you know who you are, and what you're REALLY all about, you'll have the confidence that can sustain a great, EQUAL relationship.
The key here, sisters, is that he has to win YOU over. YOUR GENUINE CONFIDENCE AND BEING YOUR REAL SELF IS THE KEY!
There's great guidance in this book, and I honestly salute Sherry for writing it! Awesome!
Barbara Rose, author of Stop Being the String Along: A Relationship Guide to Being THE ONE
2.Self confident women are indeed sexy, but her relationship advice is for the cavewoman, March 9, 2007
By D. Parvin "dparv" (Boston, MA USA)
The good news is that "Why Men Marry Bitches", Sherry Argov's relationship advice sequel to the dating advice of "Why Men Love Bitches", is an improvement. Her basic premise - that men do in fact want self-confident, assertive, and competent women - is dead on, and several of the 75 "relationship principles" are quite accurate. The bad news is that the majority of her relationship advice seems to lump all men as Cro-Magnons but more importantly, if you follow her directives you may temporarily get you what you want out of the relationship but you also may be setting it up for things that could destroy it if you're not careful. I come up with 3 stars after averaging a worthy 5 for the message of self-esteem with some accurate suggestions along with a 1 for some utterly bone-headed assumptions. Look to Greg Behrendt's books if you want inside men's heads instead and Carolyn Hax if you want relationship advice that works.
Argov's basic message is quite sound. To quote the author, "men want a competent woman who can think for herself, handle her business, take charge, and tell him to knock off the foolishness," and many of the 75 points explain exactly why this is the case. Some advice is dead on accurate; dressing for success, being yourself, realizing that you can't change someone, making sure you're happy with who you are and "standing up for what you believe in a decent and honest way" are all really good points that tackle some basic mistakes women who aren't experienced in relationships (and some who are) make. The loud and clear message of self-respect comes through loud and clear; the basic premise of "if a woman thinks all she has to offer is sex...(she's less desirable)" is the backbone of an entire chapter. Good stuff.
Where it fails miserably is her relationship advice. In fairness, there are some surprisingly valuable and clear nuggets like "Just like women can't get too many compliments, a man can't get too much appreciation for his contribution." Any number of psychologists will tell you the same but far more murkily, and warning women about an "attitude of entitlement" scaring men away is a valuable insight.
The basic underlying problem is that while she did survey a number of men, she makes some really bad and inaccurate assumptions about how men think. A particularly egregious and sexist one is that "men (are) socialized to think women are the weaker sex," and that men "want to turn back the clock" and "jest about women in the police force...and military." The sole objective of a man with a woman is "obviously...to jump into bed." In short, men haven't evolved from the Cro-Magnon age.
With this shaky basis of understanding comes some pretty shaky advice. Men get turned off by "my clock is ticking" and "so where do we stand" according to Argov because it's "too obvious," where what truly turns off many are that children and marriage are a continuation of a great relationship, not a goal in and of itself. More dangerous are tidbits like "avert a fight (over bad behavior)...with one sentence responses" and "negotiations should be 95% nonverbal." This may get women what they want near term, but if they can't come up with an effective way to communicate with their partners about such issues any relationship is in real trouble longer term. Men can be made to cook dinner by a deal agreeing that whomever gets home first does so, except if the woman gets home early they should drive around randomly to make sure he does instead. This resembles the disastrous advice in her first book about how a woman whose husband didn't want to pay for housekeeping services simply claimed to spend a little more for grocery shopping and paid for it that way behind his back. Anyone who follows this advice is going down a path of behavior that can really lead to two issues that can destroy most relationships - control and trust. It may work for a while, but if you're not careful your next book will be Shirley Glass' "Not Just Friends" to read as a postmortem as you probably won't have a working relationship for long.
Still, her advice on self-esteem is worth a read especially for those in the midst of a bad relationship. Argov is a comedian by training, and the book is relatively funny. The problem is much of her advice more or less stinks. Using the messily divorced Meg Ryan and Kim Basinger's words as points to live by points out the problem: often good thoughts, but incredibly bad application since strangely enough, ultimately they weren't able to make their relationships work. Greg Behrendt offers a lot more insight into the male mind, and Carolyn Hax a lot more reasonable advice on how healthy relationships function. Try them instead.
编辑推荐 From Publishers Weekly
As in her previous book, Why Men Love Bitches, Argov does not use the word "bitch" in a pejorative way, but rather "to describe a strong woman who has her own identity and is secure with who she is." And while encouraging women to be strong, independent and inscrutable is sound advice, the motivation behind this advice-to keep his interest-makes for a headache-inspiring contradiction. Fortunately, Argov takes readers step-by-step through her process, including numerous "Relationship Principles" that keeps her concepts clear ("Relationship Principle 35: Men are intrigued by anything they do not completely control."). Though the generalizations Argov uses to describe her pre-bitch audience can at times be condescending, and her goals are more about acting-rather than believing-that you don't need a man to feel complete, the behavior she encourages is healthy and useful, even outside the realm of husband-hunting. Taken more as a Bitch's Guide to Life-the word "relationship," after all, doesn't necessarily imply romance-this is a solid self-help.
Copyright © Reed Business Information, a division of Reed Elsevier Inc. All rights reserved.
Review
"We're talking about having so much self-respect Aretha Franklin would high-five you."
-- Los Angeles Times
"Sherry Argov encourages women who feel like doormats to develop a sense of independence."
-- Playboy
