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You're Too Kind: A Brief History of Flattery |  |
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You're Too Kind: A Brief History of Flattery | |
Over the years, people have offered many different definitions of and opinions on flattery, and flattery itself has changed "from flattery as a technique for persuading a whole class of people to flattery as a technique for influencing a single person." Is it venal? Is it a victimless crime? Is it a diluted form of praise? Is it merely, as Lord Chesterfield suggested, "a complaisant indulgence for people''s weaknesses"? Or is it just lying? In his book You''re Too Kind, Richard Stengel ponders the meaning of flattery and charts a droll and whimsical history, starting with the Egyptians ("Laugh after he laughs, and it will be very pleasing to his heart," recommends Vizier Ptahhotep), and concluding with handy hints on how to flatter without getting caught: "Never be candid when a person asks you to be candid." In between, he asks questions such as "What is circumcision, really, but a kind of divinely enforced flattery?" in an irreverent discourse around the covenant with the Israelites, and looks at everyone from troubadours to Dale Carnegie, Puritans to Hollywood D-girls.
The dust jacket sports plaudits by impresario of flattery Jay Leno and spinmeister George Stephanopoulos, who vouch that You''re Too Kind is indeed a diverting book for the reader--like yourself--with taste, discretion, and, ahem, humor. --J. Riches --This text refers to an out of print or unavailable edition of this title.
From Library Journal
Charting the uses of flattery and the social contexts in which it is used from biblical times to the present, Stengel (a senior editor at Time magazine) illustrates that more than mere praise, flattery is praise with a motive, be it benign or grasping. In his introduction, Stengel admits that some of the examples of flattery throughout the ages that he chooses to describe may be more inclusive rather than exclusive for some tastes (in the humorous chapter about the God of the Old Testament, he argues that the "insecure" God craves adulation from his chosen people, the Israelites, so that He can feel "powerful" and "revered"), but his expansive view of flattery doesn''t diminish the fun. Beware: After reading this book, you may look at the subject of strategic praise in a whole new light, and it may not be a flattering one, either. Enjoyable and informative; for popular culture collections and larger public libraries.DKimberly L. Clarke, Univ. of Minnesota Libs., Minneapolis
Copyright 2000 Reed Business Information, Inc. --This text refers to an out of print or unavailable edition of this title.
From Kirkus Reviews
A comprehensive, humorous, and insightful history of man''s sycophantic behavior.Time editor Stengel (January Sun, 1990) directs his account to the perfect, gentle reader (i.e., you and me) and declares that he has an emotional gratuity for reviewers. That''s a point or two in his favor, of course. While he takes the subject seriously, his underlying tone is often facetious, and he is aware of the vulnerability of most of us to the victimless crime of brownnosing. In fact, that is his whole point. Stengel''s study is structured as a recap of human history, paying particular attention to the power struggles that provoke flattery. He begins with a prehistoric study of the fur-smoothing, flattening (thus flattering) rituals of our social-climbing simian forebears. Stengel deems much religious ritual to be a form of bribery or flattery, while ancient idolatrous art is defined as court propaganda or spin. By New Testament times, Stengel sees Christ''s golden rule as a utilitarian invitation for the kind of mutual socialization that supports flattery. Aristophanes becomes Stengel''s early critic of demagoguery and its accompanying abuse of flattery, but the highly stratified Roman society of late antiquity only elevates this toadyism (and Stengel reproduces Plutarch''s guide for spotting apple-polishers). Well past classical times, the author follows flattery''s major role in the sparring between sexes as well as the social classes. He then makes an elaborate case for the 12th-century troubadours as the true founders of the Romantic sweet-talk that still dominates our culture. Castiglione, Machiavelli, Montaigne, Lord Chesterfield, and Shakespeare''s Iago are among the thinkers considered in pre-modern times. As Stengel moves on to the nonaristocratic New World (flattery in America was seen as unmanly), we are introduced to self-reliant men like Emerson who declare independence and immunity from puffery. Nevertheless, Andrew Carnegie made friends and influenced people with flattery. Stengel even describes the Friar''s Roast as an ironic form of flattery. A highly readable history. -- Copyright © 2000 Kirkus Associates, LP. All rights reserved. --This text refers to an out of print or unavailable edition of this title.
Review
Elissa Schappell
Vanity Fair
Winningly smart and ever so charming.
Elissa Schappell
Vanity Fair
Winningly smart and ever so charming.
Jonathan Yardley
The Washington Post
Stengel has written not merely a popular history of flattery but also a guide to its employment.
Review
Jonathan Yardley The Washington Post Stengel has written not merely a popular history of flattery but also a guide to its employment.
目录
Introduction
A Word or Two on the Etymology of Flattery
Chapter 1 Everyone Has a Hierarchy
Chapter 2 You Can Take It with You
Chapter 3 Flatter Me or Else
Chapter 4 Flattery Is Undemocratic
Chapter 5 The Invention of Romantic Flattery
Chapter 6 The Courtier's Guide to How to Flatter
Chapter 7 American Transparency
Chapter 8 How Flattery Won Friends and Influenced People
Chapter 9 The Science of Ingratiation
Chapter 10 The Capitals of Modern Flattery
Epilogue: How to Flatter Without Getting Caught
Appendix
Notes
Acknowledgments
Index
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