The problem with these stories is that they show what the data shows: women systematically underestimate their own abilities. If you test men and women, and you ask them questions on totally objective criteria like GPAs, men get it wrong slightly high, and women get it wrong slightly low. Women do not negotiate for themselves in the workforce. A study in the last two years of people entering the workforce out of college showed that 57 percent of boys entering, or men, I guess, are negotiating their first salary, and only seven percent of women. And most importantly, men attribute their success to themselves, and women attribute it to other external factors. If you ask men why they did a good job, they'll say, "I'm awesome. Obviously. Why are you even asking?" If you ask women why they did a good job, what they'll say is someone helped them, they got lucky, they worked really hard. Why does this matter? Boy, it matters a lot because no one gets to the corner office by sitting on the side, not at the table, and no one gets the promotion if they don't think they deserve their success, or they don't even understand their own success.
这类故事的问题反映了数据中表明的事实：女性整体低估了自身的能力。如果你测试男性和女性，你问他们问题，比如像绩点这样完全客观的领域，男性会错误地高估一些，女性则会错误地低估一些。女性在职场不会为自身利益去谈判。过去两年有一个关于人们从学校进入职场的一个调查表明，57%的男生或男性(我猜)进入职场，会协商他们的第一份薪水，只有7%的女性会去协商。更重要的是，男性把他们的成功归功于他们自身，而女性则归功于其他外部因素。如果你问男性为什么他们能把工作做好，他们会说，“我棒极了。这是显而易见的。这还用问吗?” 如果你问女性是什么使她们在工作中出色，她们会说有人帮助她们，她们很幸运，她们工作异常努力。这个问题很重要吗?大家注意了，这关系很大，因为没人只坐在旁边(而不是桌边)就得到办公室的职位。没人得到提升是因为他们不认为应该享有成功，或者他们甚至不明白自己的成功。
I wish the answer were easy. I wish I could just go tell all the young women I work for, all these fabulous women, "Believe in yourself and negotiate for yourself. Own your own success." I wish I could tell that to my daughter. But it's not that simple. Because what the data shows, above all else, is one thing, which is that success and likeability are positively correlated for men and negatively correlated for women. And everyone's nodding, because we all know this to be true.
我但愿这答案是简单的。我希望我尽可能告诉我共事过的所有年轻女性，这些非常棒的女性， “相信自己，要为自身利益讨价还价。把握住你的成功。” 我也希望能把这个告诉我的女儿。但这没那么简单。因为首先数据表明的一件事是，成功和好人缘对于男性来说是积极影响的而对于女性来说是负面影响。每个人都赞同，因为我们大家都知道这是真的。
There's a really good study that shows this really well. There's a famous Harvard Business School study on a woman named Heidi Roizen. And she's an operator in a company in Silicon Valley, and she uses her contacts to become a very successful venture capitalist. In 2002 -- not so long ago -- a professor who was then at Columbia University took that case and made it Howard Roizen. And he gave the case out, both of them, to two groups of students. He changed exactly one word: "Heidi" to "Howard." But that one word made a really big difference. He then surveyed the students, and the good news was the students, both men and women, thought Heidi and Howard were equally competent, and that's good. The bad news was that everyone liked Howard. He's a great guy. You want to work for him. You want to spend the day fishing with him. But Heidi? Not so sure. She's a little out for herself. She's a little political. You're not sure you'd want to work for her. This is the complication. We have to tell our daughters and our colleagues, we have to tell ourselves to believe we got the A, to reach for the promotion, to sit at the table, and we have to do it in a world where, for them, there are sacrifices they will make for that, even though for their brothers, there are not.
一个非常棒的研究也很好地表明了这一观点。哈佛商学院有一个著名研究是关于一位叫海蒂•罗森的女性。她是硅谷一家公司的负责人，她使用她的关系成为一名非常成功的风险资本家。在2002年——就是不久前——当时在哥伦比亚大学的一位教授接了这个案例，把它改成霍华德•罗森。他把这两个案例向两组学生展示。他只改变了一个词：海蒂改成霍华德。但这个词就造成了非常大的差异。然后他调查了学生。好消息是男生和女生都认为海蒂和霍华德能力相当，这很好。但坏消息是每个人都喜欢霍华德。他是个了不起的人，大家都想和他共事，大家都想和他去钓鱼。但海蒂呢?不好说。她有点只为自己着想，有点政治手腕。大家不太想和她共事。这就是复杂之处。我们得告诉我们的女儿和我们的同事、我们得告诉我们自己，要相信我们能获得A，得到提升，坐在桌边。在这个世上，女性要争取这些就得做出牺牲，尽管她们的兄弟不用为此而付出牺牲。
The saddest thing about all of this is that it's really hard to remember this. And I'm about to tell a story which is truly embarrassing for me, but I think important. I gave this talk at Facebook not so long ago to about 100 employees, and a couple hours later, there was a young woman who works there sitting outside my little desk, and she wanted to talk to me. I said, okay, and she sat down, and we talked. And she said, "I learned something today. I learned that I need to keep my hand up." I said, "What do you mean?" She said, "Well, you're giving this talk, and you said you were going to take two more questions. And I had my hand up with lots of other people, and you took two more questions. And I put my hand down, and I noticed all the women put their hand down, and then you took more questions, only from the men." And I thought to myself, wow, if it's me -- who cares about this, obviously -- giving this talk -- and during this talk, I can't even notice that the men's hands are still raised, and the women's hands are still raised, how good are we as managers of our companies and our organizations at seeing that the men are reaching for opportunities more than women? We've got to get women to sit at the table.
关于这件事的最可悲的是很难记住它。我将讲个对我来说是个真正尴尬的故事，但我认为它很重要。在Facebook，不久前我给大约100名员工做关于这个话题的演讲。几小时后，在Facebook工作的一个年轻女性坐到我小桌子旁边，她想和我谈谈。我说，好，她坐了下来，我们谈了起来。她说，“我今天学了一些东西。我知道我需要举起手。” 我说，“你是什么意思?” 她说，“你在演讲时，你说你会回答2个以上问题。我和其他一些人举起手，你回答了2个以上问题。我放下手，我注意到所有女性都把手放了下来，然后你又回答了很多问题，仅有男性参与。” 我自己想了一下——如果换成是我，做这次演讲谁会在乎这个——在这演讲中，我甚至没注意到男士们的手是不是还一直举着，女士们的手是不是还一直举着，当我们作为公司和组织的经理的时候，我们能看见多少男性比女性有更多机会的情况?我们得让女性坐到桌子边上。
