13595 Business
TOEFL Independent Writing Task
Essay Question: Do business-people desire only for money?
Sample Answer by Jeenn Lee Hsieh 谢振礼
ielts360toefl@hotmail.com
TWE Writing Prompt:
>Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? "Business people are motivated by only desire for money."
Use specific reasons and examples (based on your knowledge or experience) to support your answer.
Example Essay (Jeenn Lee Hsieh):
Business is work, and the most important motivational factor for people to work is to earn money. In business, it is not the creation of wealth that is wrong, but the love of money for its own sake. Desire for a profit being equal, there are probably two kinds of business: the good kind and the poor kind.
The good kind of business is referring to work well done to the satisfaction of customers. This means that if the work of a business is worth doing, it is not only worth doing for money but also worth doing well to benefit the public. In other words, successful business persons are aware of building their reputation even before creating their wealth. That successful business people are making a good profit is not difficult to understand. Actually, it is not so much that people who make a great deal of money are successful as that successful people attract money and become wealthy. When the reputation reaches a point where it seems as if successful people do not work for money, such business is of a good kind.
In comparison, the love of money for its own sake is the poor kind of business. Whatever business that makes nothing but money is not exactly doing well and may be considered as less successful. Often a business in this category has turned desire to greed. However, in the long run such business is likely to become less successful, and as a result, customers do not buy a product or service from that business. And, make no mistake. It is not because greedy people make a profit that is wrong but because they fail to deliver the best product or service to customers. That is also why a business of the poor kind, however strong might be desire for money, could not long stand and would be out of business in the long run.
Generally speaking, desire for money drives business and profit to go hand in hand, whether a business is characterized as the good kind or the poor kind. Behind that desire, making a profit is the principle of all businesses. Thus, when a business person says that it is not for money that he or she works but the principle of the thing that matters, it is money just the same. (Essay created by Jeenn Lee Hsieh ielts360toefl@hotmail.com 谢振礼 pigai zuowen)
***Review: How To Write An Essay?***
主题>Thesis
结构>Structure
内容>Content
*词汇>Lexicon
*句法>Syntax
*修辞>Rhetoric
理由-例子-细节>Reasons-Examples-Details
知识&经验>Knowledge/Experience
意见或事实>Opinion or Fact?
头脑风暴>Brainstorming
心图大纲>Mind-mapping
Signpost A=Topic Sentence of Body Paragraph A. Signpost B=Topic Sentence of Paragraph B.
指标句>Topic Sentence
