名师指导:对GMAT作文的一些建议(1)
读书人与您同行,携手打造非凡未来
总原则:
1. 思维:逻辑尽量严密、不留gap
2. 语言:尽量生动、形象、具体,尽量避免使用抽象名词
具体框架: I. 开头:3种方式
【第一种】:
1. 第一句:背景知识——(词汇句型和题目不一样), 内容上可以和题目一样的
2. 第二句:result
如果同意,那么就说执行这东西的好处(或没有这东西的坏处);如果不同意,就反之。
要求:表述要能体现直接的方向性
目的:让读者读了以后能够琢磨出“我的观点的大致方向”
3. 第三句:我的观点。(以下例子对的词汇不建议用,思维可以:词汇过于stiff和模板化)
这段话的关系是:
我先说一下我们要讨论的issue是什么,然后,我给你一个result,让读者产生一个具有方向性的预期,最后我的观点和读者的预期是相match的,会让读者高兴,且又阐明了自己的观点(注意:“不同意Speaker所说”是一个反面的观点,具有方向性,不是中立!)
——就是这个感觉。
Eg1:范文——
题目:
"Clearly, government has a responsibility to support the arts. However, if that support is going to produce anything of value, government must place no restrictions on the art that is produced. "
To what extent do you agree or disagree with the opinion expressed above?
开头:
The speaker argues that government must support the arts but at the same time impose no control over what art is produced. The implicit rationale for government intervention in the arts is that, without it, cultural decline and erosion of our social fabric will result. However, I find no empirical evidence to support this argument, which in any event is unconvincing in light of more persuasive arguments that government should play no part in either supporting or restricting the arts.
Eg2:学生练习
"There is only one definition of success-to be able to spend your life in your own way. "
我的开头:
By success it merely notes that you can live your life whatever as you want and you choose. This life style may help a person realize find the thing of the highest good to him/her and thus lend him/her ultimate satisfaction at all. Therefore, I vitally support this kind definition of success.
【第二种】:以故事开头。
[NOTE]:故事最忌讳:晦涩、难懂、中立。
讲一个story:要求——
1)三句以内写完。
2)时间、地点、人物、事件尽量说实、说全、说细,让读者感觉不像是编的。
3)句式要求:词汇和句子一定得好,否则不抓人。因为你既然能以讲故事的方式开头,说明你对自己的写作水平足够自信(这是readers的预期),如果一来全是简单句,给人真实感觉却你的写作水平太差,与读者之前的预期dismatch了!所以不好。
因此:可以是很长的复杂句、套了从句的均可。
内容上:
如果水平较低(ie:不能让人通过读完整个故事就立刻看到明确的方向):就一来首先扣题(如:bill gates是一个成功的IT精英,他用其独特的观看奥运会的方式向世人展示了其成功和与众不同——开篇就告诉了这个eg的方向:且点出了“成功”与“自己的生活方式”的关系,这里没有留下gap。)
B)第二句开始:elaboration这个故事——越生动、形象、具体越好(体现在一些名词实词,比如列举等)。
Eg:学生练习
"There is only one definition of success-to be able to spend your life in your own way. "
范文思路:
Bill gates是一个成功的IT精英,他用其独特的观看奥运会的方式向世人展示了其成功和与众不同。他在奥运村旁边租了一个空中四合院,然后和妻子一起,看到了开幕式上五星红旗的升起、奥运火炬的传递、跳水健儿夺冠、拳击冠军带伤上场、奥运圣火的熄灭……
目的:通过这个故事让读者琢磨出这个观点的大致方向来——
所以,一定要通过一些indicator体现“这个方向”:比如一些有感**彩的indicator(因为IBT没有假设readers是白痴,所以不要将GMAT的“绝对客观”用过来,一些能反映“好坏正负”的描述或adj都是readers能体会的,但前提是我必须写出来!不可以只列出现象!)
2. answer the question:同意还是不同意。
这句话的作用:match读者读了故事之后的预期,同时回答了问题——阐明了“我”的观点!
Eg1:
Hunting for a job late last year, lawyer Gant Redmon stumbled across CareerBuilder, a job database on the Internet. He searched it with no success but was attracted by the site’s “personal search agent”. It’s an interactive feature that lets visitors key in job criteria such as location, title, and salary, then E-mails them when a matching position is posted in the database. Redmon chose the keywords legal, intellectual property, and Washington, D.C. Three weeks later, he got his first notification of an opening. “I struck gold,’ says Redmon, who E-mailed his resume to the employer and won a position as in-house counsel for a company.
【分析】:
第一句话:交代了事情的梗概
后面读完:elaboration清楚,能让我读出来观点的方向很明确。所以第一句没有用“扣题”的方式!
所以,“是否扣题”依自己的水平能力定!
Eg2:完整演示
"There is only one definition of success-to be able to spend your life in your own way. "
范文思路:
Bill gates是一个成功的IT精英,他用其独特的观看奥运会的方式向世人展示了其成功和与众不同。他在奥运村旁边租了一个空中四合院,然后和妻子一起,看到了开幕式上五星红旗的升起、奥运火炬的传递、跳水健儿夺冠、拳击冠军带伤上场、奥运圣火的熄灭……
【注意】:说到这里,只是把故事讲完了,接下来应该回答两个问题:
1)是成功的定义;
2)是成功的唯一定义(否则“only”如果没有回应我的答案可能受到攻击)
最后两句:
也许对于其他人而言,成功的体现还有不同的considerations,比如:金钱、社会地位、etc
但是对于我而言,这些都不及“按照自己的生活方式生活”重要,进而他们都不足以定义成功,所以,我支持“这是成功的唯一的定义方式”。
Eg2:学生练习
"What education fails to teach us is to see the human community as one. Rather than focus on the unique differences that separate one nation from another, education should focus on the similarities among all people and places on Earth."