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Getting to Yes: Negotiating an agreement without giving in | |||
Getting to Yes: Negotiating an agreement without giving in |
ROGER FISHER is Williston Professor of Law Emeritus at Harvard Law School and Director of the Harvard Negotiating Project.
WILLIAM URY co-founded BRUCE PATTON is deputy director of the Harvard Negotiation Project.
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The title of Fisher and Ury's book is Getting to Yes - Negotiating Agreement without Giving In. It's a case where the title clearly lays out what the book is about. In Getting to Yes the authors present, step by step, how to find your way to a win-win solution that helps meet your goals while at the same time preserving the relationship so that future negotiations also go smoothly.
This book was the assigned textbook for a college course I took on negotiation, but it's one of those fairly rare cases where the material that's useful for a college course is also immensely useful for off-the-street people in a variety of situations. This book avoids complicated jargon and long, droning background chapters. Instead, it plunges into helpful information to assist people in negotiating for a new car, negotiating issues with their landlords, and all the many ways we all negotiate for our position throughout life.
Negotiation isn't just for union leaders trying to avert a strike. All of us negotiate each day as we try to juggle our many roles. We negotiate with our co-workers over assignments. We negotiate with our family members over chores. In an ideal world all of those discussions would go quickly, smoothly, and with as little strife as possible.
Getting to Yes provided numerous helpful examples which made their points more easy to understand. It is so true that people tend to remember stories where they might not remember dry text. When I think about this book I do remember several of the stories clearly, and those help to represent the points the authors were making. The stories help remind me to focus on the issues when negotiating and to look for objective standards to work with.
The information presented is wonderful, and immediately useful in life.
On the down side, this is a new version of older material. The authors chose to keep the initial book in its original form and then add on additional information at the end. I appreciate for historical reasons why they wanted to do that. However, from a fresh reader point of view, I feel they should present an integrated whole which most clearly presents the full information. The way the book is laid out currently, you have to go back and forth to find all information on a given topic.
Also, the format is not laid out for easy reference. If they went more for a "dummies" style with an easy to scan layout, graphs and charts to quickly find and scan, and quick end-summaries, that would make this more useful as a reference book to keep on a shelf. Right now if I had an issue to handle it would be less than quick to grab the book and find the answer. I would have to wade through the book to figure out where to get the support I needed.
Still, I do recommend that everyone read this book at least once, to build their skills in negotiation. It's something we all have to do!
This book has been around for quite a while and is vaunted by many as THE book on negotiation. I, like many others, am unconvinced. If you have never negotiated anything in your life, this is the book for you. It's a great primer, but it's far from all-encompassing. The authors admit that it is not meant to cover everything, though. It teaches what's known as "principled negotiation," which is a non-adversarial style. It's particularly useful for business deals and personal conflicts, since it emphasizes mutual problem solving and de-emphasizes taking positions, thus allowing everyone to "win."
On the other hand, anyone who has successfully negotiated even the most minor of deals (i.e. haggling), won't find this as useful. In order to be effective, you have to convince all parties to accept the premise of principled negotiation. If they don't the whole system falls apart. Furthermore, if you are in an adversarial proceeding (lawsuit, arbitration, etc.), this is fairly useless. In those proceedings, the other party either doesn't care whether you "win" or actively wants you to lose. If you come up against a manipulator, the practices in this book will prove to be more hindrance than help. I had to read this as part of a law school class. To put it mildly, other aspects of the class were far more useful than this book.
Bottom Line: a good starting point. Just don't make it a stopping point.
I first read this in 1983, when my husband was in his first year of law school. I've remembered over the years and tried to apply some of the principles that i learned in my personal and professional life. I recently attended some professional (non-legal) training, and one of the facilitators was a lawyer who led a discussion about how to negotiate when there is disagreement. As he spoke, I recognized the principles as the same ones I'd read in Getting to Yes so long ago. At the end of his presentation, he referred to this book. I decided to buy a new copy and read it again. It has been updated, and the new material is a great addition. Still a very handy tool for personal or professional negotiation.
I got this book at the same time as "Stalling for Time: My Life as an FBI Hostage Negotiator" by Noesner, and it feels like the two books do a great job of complimenting each other.
I like that this book focuses on only three core points - points you can easily keep in mind during any sort of negotiation without feeling like you're reciting "book knowledge". The lessons offered by this book are pretty easy to understand, and it's very likely you'll recognize some of them as skills that you already have. For example the suggestion to "Focus on the interests, not the positions" is something we do all the time. Try to figure out why somebody is asking for something, not just what they are asking for. Because often these underlying reasons can be addressed with solutions other than what they have proposed.
That said, any of the 1 or 2 page summaries on the internet will likely get you all the meat you need from this book. When the book goes deeper into detail and anecdotes, they are often contrived and unrealistic. Going back to the "focus on the interests" point - you're not going to use that approach when negotiating with somebody on a raise. "Yes Bob, I know you want a raise. But why? Does Johnny need braces?" That's the kind of expanded detail you get.
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