People Skills (English Edition)

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有点像盗版，不像是正版⊙▽⊙

I agree with the positive reviews of this book. I got a lot out of it and realized I have unwittingly created many of the roadblocks at one time or another. I learned how they work and I'm trying to avoid using them now that I am aware of them. Things like being critical and giving unsolicited advice are obviously bad, but the light bulb came on for me when I read that compliments could also be used in an effort to manipulate or control. They can put a label on someone that stops further communication. I always felt weird when people paid a compliment that seemed unwarranted or even creepy (like "you're such a beautiful girl, I know you will help me out." What has one got to do with the other?!); I previously thought I was being ungracious or something was wrong with me. (I always said thank you out loud so as not to be rude.) I see now that there was more to many of these compliments and my instincts were spot-on. So now when I get one of these slimy-feeling little compliments, I look deeper for the ulterior motive and can resist the attempt at manipulation to come. I look deeper into what everyone says now, comparing what they say to how they say it to make sure I'm getting the true meaning and not missing something important to the other person. I ask for clarification if I'm unsure of the meaning. I think of all the misunderstandings & hurt feelings caused because I didn't pay close enough attention and jumped to the wrong conclusions, creating arguments and discord. This is really useful at work too, where people tend to be less forthcoming and you have to ask the right questions (but not too many!)

In a nutshell, you can learn how to be a nicer person who shows real concern and respect for others, and who can stand up to aggressive people when necessary. I don't mind the wordiness or the quotes from other psychologists, some of them are quite nice. Like any book, you can get what you need out of it and ignore the rest.

Best book ever for learning about communication skills. I first read this about 13 years agoin college and loved it then; wushed I'd have read it way sooner. Now I'm a counselor and recommend this book more than anything else. This is a life skills book that every person should read. Perfect for your teens, any individual, bosses and employees, and couples...really great for everyone since communication (verbal and non-verbal) take place everywhere every day. It's packed with great information and no extra flub to fill space. Straight forward and clear. Awesome information, seriously! If you're struggling to communicate with someone (or want to make sure you do), this book will help provide you needed tools and ideas.

Best book ever! But hard to read. You have to really concentrate to focus on the topic. Not at all like a novel. But the content is helping me so much with handling conflict and understanding people. I will reread this one again in about 6 months after I've put to use what I learned. It is so packed full of great information that reading it only once, you would miss or forget a lot of the information. I have recommended this to my sister and several friends. They have started reading it and feel the same way I do. I find myself thinking about the content of this book and applying it in everyday situations. Highly recommend.

It is very clear and you don't need a degree in psychology or coursework to understand it. it helped me to see the difference between three styles of communication with other people: Agressive, submissive, and assertive. I was in the submissive catagory, but now i find i can be assertive in a non-agressive way and state what i want and how i feel without causing conflict with others. it feels so much better. An important book for people who have problems in this area.

This book is awesome. Not perfect! But definitely well worth the read. Just imagine if we were taught these skills in school, imagine what a change it would make in our lives and our world. I just can't understand why our education system is not centred around good communication skills for everyone.

Some random comments:
a) this book is almost 30 years old. A revised edition would be well worthwhile;
b) given that men and women have been shown to have very different communication styles, the lack of any discussion around this in the book is one obvious opportunity;
c) this is not a text book. In order to begin to get these skills into schools the book needs to be re-written as a proper text book - better format, examples, exercises, how to integrate these skills into general teaching practices;
d) this book is so profound it is worthy of a hardcover edition.

This book should be standard reading for all teaching graduates - in fact for all teaching staff at all levels.

In summary - one of the most important books I've ever read. For those who understand the primary importance of human relationships I thoroughly recommend it. And for those who don't...........?

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