13579 谢振礼 TOEFL Essay: Hard Work or Good Luck?
TOEFL Independent Writing Task
Essay Question>Success: Luck or Work?
Example Answer by Jeenn Lee Hsieh
ielts360toefl@hotmail.com
ielts360toefl@163.com 谢振礼
Essay Prompt (from No. 10 of the TOEFL TWE list of 185 topics)
"When people succeed, it is because of hard work. Luck has nothing to do with success." Do you agree or disagree with the quotation above? Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.
Sample Writing (Jeenn Lee Hsieh):
Hard work matters to success; so does good luck. You might think that nobody gets justice and there is only good luck or bad luck; or, on the contrary, you might as well believe that luck is a dividend of sweat because the more you sweat, the luckier you get. So, the question is "what is what"?
Often, success is considered as simply a matter of luck. This is probably why when people do not succeed, luck is to blame. For example, luck often happens to someone who comes from a wealthy and powerful family or who knows people in high places. Does it occur to you that those who have succeeded at anything without much effort and yet do not mention "luck" are kidding themselves? Apart from that, even self-made persons would admit that they are lucky enough to encounter more opportunities than do other people in their pursuit of success. In other words, if everything happens for a reason (like destiny), that reason may be either good luck or hard luck, or somewhere between.
Perhaps no less often, success is seen as a result of diligence because the only virtue that overcomes hard luck is hard work. At this point, you are led to think that good things appear not only because of luck but also because you work hard to get them. This means that the harder you work, the more luck you might have in order to be successful. To put it more strongly, shallow persons believe in nothing other than luck, but strong ones as well believe in cause and effect, and in preparation and opportunity. Eve though successful people may regard themselves as lucky, actually they know that luck is just the last refuge of laziness. Accordingly, luck is preparation meeting opportunity, which makes success happen.
It is appropriate to say that success means both toil and luck at work; and that, without hard work, you are not prepared to succeed even when opportunity comes along. Imagine you are playing a role on the stage of life, while awaiting luck. Luck may get you on to the stage, of course, but sometimes it has nothing to do with keeping you there. (Essay created by Jeenn Lee Hsieh ielts360toefl@hotmail.com 谢振礼批改作文)
Tips and Guidance from Jeenn Lee Hsieh
Correction & Rewriting Service>写作批改 ielts360toefl@hotmail.com 谢振礼 讲座
Do you AGREE or DISAGREE with the following statement?
*TOEFL>Use SPECIFIC reasons and examples and/or details (based on your knowledge or experience) to SUPPORT your answer.
*IELTS>Give reasons for your answer and include any RELEVANT examples and/or details from your own knowledge or experience to SUPPORT your opinion.
#Tips and Guidance:
Strong>Fast>Relevant
Structure=4 paragraphs 起承转合
起3承6转6合3=18 sentences
SPECIFIC reasons; RELEVANT examples to SUPPORT your answer (opinion)
Unity in Variety; Variety in Unity
Introduction>Say what you are going to say.
Body Paragraphs A+B> Say it (with evidence).
Conclusion>Say what you have said.
#起>Introduction: thesis, focus, signposts A+B
Present your position (opinion) in answer to the essay question. This is the Thesis, which is to focus on reasons and will be explained in Point A and Point B (as signposts A and B).
#承+转>Body Paragraphs A and B (signposts A+B)
Create ideas to support your opinion (Thesis). Such ideas include examples and/or details.
#合>Conclusion
Summarize signposts A+B; focus; thesis.
起 3 Sentences>(from general to specific)
Introduction: Thesis, Focus, Signposts A+B
承 6 Sentences>(Opinion about Signpost A)=Body Paragraph A: Topic Sentence A
+Supports (Examples and Details)
承 6 Sentences>(Opinion about Signpost B)=Body Paragraph B: Topic Sentence B
+Supports (Examples and Details)
合 3 Sentences>(from specific to general)
Conclusion: Signposts A+B. Focus, Thesis
#雅思 IELTS (handwriting): 40 minutes
>250-360 words
planning=8 minutes
producing=27 minutes
proofreading=5 minutes
#托福 TOEFL (keyboard): 30 minutes
>300-360 words
planning=7 minutes
producing=18 minutes
proofreading=5 minutes
Method: 方式
Introduction:
申论主题 集中焦点 话分两头
Thesis (from your position)>Focus (on your reasons)>Signposts (A and B for topic sentence of Body A and topic sentence of Body B)
Body A: 话说A头 举例说明
Topic Sentence A+examples and/or details
Body B: 话说B头 举例说明
Topic Sentence B+examples and/or details
Conclusion: 二合为一 还原焦点 重申主题
Signposts A+B>Focus>Thesis
#英文四类句子
Four Types of Sentence
--Simple Sentence 简单句
--Compound Sentence 复合句
--Complex Sentence 复杂句
--Compound-Complex Sentence 复合复杂句
TOEFL/IELTS Essays: Scoring Standards
托福-雅思作文：评分标准
Development and Organization>
Thesis: well focused
Structure: well organized
Content: well supported
Grammar and Vocabulary>
Rhetoric: language effectiveness
Syntax: sentence variety
Lexicon: word choice
>TOEFL iBT Independent Writing Task: Scoring Standards
Typical Task>Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Use specific reasons and examples and/or details (from your knowledge or experience) to support your answer.
Rating the independent writing essay on overall writing quality, including development, organization, grammar and vocabulary. The writing task is rated from 0 to 5, converted to a scaled score of 0 to 30. An essay (top score) at this level largely accomplishes all of the following:
effectively addresses the topic and task
is well organized and well developed, using clearly appropriate explanations, exemplifications, and/or details
displays unity, progression, and coherence
displays consistent facility in the use of language, demonstrating syntactic variety, appropriate word choice, and idiomaticity, though it may have minor lexical or grammatical errors
>IELTS Writing Task 2
Typical Task>Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your knowledge or experience to support your opinion.
An essay at the level of Band 9:
Task Response (TR) >fully addresses all parts of the task >presents a fully developed position in answer to the question with relevant, fully extended and well supported ideas
Coherence and Cohesion (CC) >uses cohesion in such a way that it attracts no attention >skillfully manages paragraphing
Lexical Resource (LR)>uses a wide range of vocabulary with very natural and sophisticated control of lexical features; rare minor errors occur only as 'slips'
Grammatical Range and Accuracy (GRA) >uses a wide range of (sentence) structures and full flexibility and accuracy; rare minor errors occur only as 'slips'
