雅思写作的满分是9分,而7.5分的雅思写作文章已经称得上是优秀的雅思写作范文,一般来说要想申请不错的国外大学的话雅思成绩最好是7分或者7分以上,想要获得7.5分的雅思写作分数,首先语法一定要过关,其次就是文章整体结构和推理都要合理,下面就是小编收集的一篇7.5分的雅思写作范文,老师也将从细节方面对这篇文章的优势做出分析。
Band 7.5
Some people believe that there should be fixed punishment for each type of crime. Others, however, argue that the circumstances of an individual crime, and the motivation for committing it, should always be taken into account when deciding on the punishment. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.
Fixing punishments for each type of crime has been a debatable issue. There are many arguments supporting both views, those for and those against fixed punishments.
On the one hand, fixed punishments will have a deterring effect on society. Individuals knowing that they will be subject to a certain punishment if they are convicted with a given crime, will reconsider committing this act in the first place. This deterring effect also leads to social stability and security, through minimizing the number of crime committed. If people knew they would be able to convince the court or the jury of a reason for having committed the crime they are accused of, penal decisions would be largely arbitrary. This would result into criminals getting away with their crimes and into a high level of injustice caused by the subjective approach of different courts.
On the other hand, taking the circumstances of a crime and its motivation into consideration is a prerequisite for establishing and ensuring justice and equity. A person killing in self-defense cannot be compared to a serial killer, moving from one victim to the next.
In my opinion and intermediary position between both solutions is the perfect way to establish and ensure justice and equity. There have to be fixed punishments for all crimes. however, criminal laws have to provide for a minimum and a maximum for the punishment and the laws also have to foresee certain cases of exemptions. An example for setting minimum and maximum penalties is Completion Law where a person being held liable of a crime under this law will be convicted to pay a fine, according to the harm caused by the violation and the profit gained by the violator through committing the crime.As for the exemptions, in some countries the law exempts thiefs stealing food during a period of famine taking into consideration the distress and hunger. Also a person killing in self-defense will be exempted from punishment.
这篇7.5分的雅思写作例文可以说各方面都做的还不错,但是在paraphrase这一点仍有失误,作者应该把penalty早早提到文章的前面替换掉一些频繁出现的punishment, 同时应该多收集点其它的词,如:castigation, penalization, discipline等。 但是他关于收集犯罪类的词汇上显然homework做的比较足,所以用了很多专业的词汇: