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专家点评:雅思议论文十大失分点(2)

2012-06-30 
多年的教学中,笔者批改了数以千计的议论文。从中发现,大部分中国考生在写议论文时的失分点实在可惜,因此,雅思专家总结和归纳了目前考生在写议论中的十大失分点,希望考生们在备考时予以重视。

  六、指代不清

  指代不清主要讲的是代词与被指代的人或物关系不清,或者先后所用的代词不一致。

  比如:Mary was friendly to my sister because she wanted her to be her bridesmaid.

  读完上面这一句话,读者无法明确地判断两位姑娘中谁将结婚,谁将当伴娘。如果我们把易于引起误解的代词所指代的对象加以明确,意思就一目了然了。这个句子可改为:

  Mary was friendly to my sister because she wanted my sister to be her bridesmaid.

  比如:We can also know the society by serving it yourself.

  分析:句中人称代词we和反身代词yourself指代不一致。

  改为:We can also know society by serving it ourselves.

  七、不间断句子

  这个错误的出现受中文意识的影响很大。很多考生在写句子时,句子之间缺乏有效的连接成分。甚至,有的句子写的比较中式化。

  比如:There are many ways we get to know the outside world.

  分析:这个句子包含了两层完整的意思:“there are many ways”以及“we get to know the outside world”。简单地把它们连在一起就不妥当了。

  改为:

  There are many ways for us to learn about the outside world. 或:

  There are many ways through which we can become acquainted with the outside world.

  八、措词毛病

  学生在写作中没有养成良好的推敲,斟酌句子中所选用词的习惯。大部分考生随心所欲,拿来就用,所以作文中用词不当的错误随处可见。

  比如:The increasing use of chemical obstacles in agriculture also makes pollution.

  分析:显然,考生把obstacles“障碍”,“障碍物”误作substance“物质”了。另外“the increasing use(不断增加的使用)”应改为“abusive use(滥用)”。

  改为:The abusive use of chemical substances in agriculture also causes/leads to pollution.

  九、累赘

  写句子没有一个多余的词;写段落没有一个无必要的句子。能用单词的不用词组;能用词组的不用从句或句子。

  比如:In spite of the fact that he is lazy, I like him.

  本句的“the fact that he is lazy”系同谓语从句,我们按照上述“能用词组的不用从句”可以改为:In spite of his laziness, I like him.

  比如:For the people who are diligent and kind, money is just the thing to be used to buy the thing they need.

  整个句子可以大大简化为:

  Diligent people use money only to buy what they need.

  十、不连贯

  不连贯是指一个句子前言不对后语,或是结构上不畅通,这也是考生常犯的毛病。

  比如:The fresh water, it is the most important things of the earth.

  分析:the fresh water与逗号后的it不连贯,it与things在数方面不一致。

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