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Do you have a hard time saying no to others? Do you say “yes” when you really mean no?You’re not alone. Many people end up saying “yes” to something they don’t really want to do for several reasons。
你是不是感觉拒绝他人是件很困难的事?你是不是明明心里不乐意嘴上却说"没问题"?有这样烦恼的不止你一人,面对很多不情愿做的事情,许多人还是由于某些原因最终选择了接受。
When everyone else says yes and you say no, you fear that you will be alienated from the group. Therefore, fear of loss creeps in and you find yourself saying yes. Start to give yourself and others more credit. It is extremely unlikely for people to no longer want to be around you just because you have said no a few times. It is all down to how you say “no。”
当周围每个人都接受而你却拒绝的话,你感觉自己会被人群疏远。因此,害怕失去的感觉渐渐潜入内心,你发觉自己最后也接受了。给自己也给他人多点信任吧!就因为你拒绝了几次,周围的人就不再和你交往了?绝对不可能!那么我们来学习如何说不吧!
1. “I’m sorry, I just don’t have the time at the moment。”
不好意思,现在我真没时间
If you are too busy then let the other person know. After all, your own work and family comes first. The other person will understand, especially if they also have a busy job and a family of their own。
如果你太忙那就让别人知道这点。毕竟你自己的工作和家庭才是最重要的。别人会感同身受,尤其是他们本身工作忙还有家庭。
You may find it easier to give specifics. You can expand upon your answer, sharing the details as to why you don’t have time。
你会发现给出细节理由变得更简单了。接下来再详细解释下自己的回答,让他人知道你没有时间的具体缘由。
2. “I don’t think I’m the best person to help you out. Why don’t you try …”
我认为我不是帮你解决难题的最佳人选,你可以找......"
If you think you can’t be of any help then simply say so. Maybe you know someone else who would be better suited for the task. Recommend that person instead. This is a good one to use at work。
当你发现自己根本不可能帮上什么忙时,直接拒绝。也许你认识的某个人更适合解决这个难题,将这个人推荐给求助者,这个办法在工作中非常适用。
3. “Let me get back to you。”
一会回复你
Sometimes you first have to check your schedule before you can commit to something. But remember, it’s not a good idea to say this when you really mean no in the first place. This will waste the other person’s time; time which could have been spent finding someone else who would say yes。
有时候你不得不先看看自己的日程才敢承诺于他人。但请记住。如果你心里根本不乐意帮忙,这个方法并不太适用。这样会浪费求助者的时间,有这个时间或许就可以让他找到另一个乐意帮忙的人了。
4. “I’m sorry but now is not a good time. How about some other time?”
不好意思,现在有些不方便。要不找个另外的时间吧?
They say that timing is everything; sometimes you might be asked to do something when you are in the middle of something. Don’t hesitate to say that you are busy right now but you can help at a later date。
人们都说时机决定一切,有时候你在处理某事的关键时刻却遇到有人找你帮忙,果断告诉他自己现在非常忙,过些天会帮他搞定。
However, you must never offer to do something in the future if you don’t mean it. This will turn out to be much worse than simply saying no in the first place。
但如果你心里根本不想做这事,日后你肯定不会帮他的。所以为避免更糟糕的后果,还不如事先就直接拒绝他。
5. “I would rather decline than do a mediocre job”
我宁愿拒绝也不想敷衍了事
When you know that you won’t be able to do the best job you can, simply say so. The other person will appreciate your honesty. You could even follow it up with, “I’d rather say no now than I’m sorry later,” for extra effect。
当你知道自己没能力胜任某项工作时,就干脆这样回答,对方会欣赏你的坦诚。为了有更好的效果,你还可以这样补充:“我宁愿现在拒绝也不希望之后有负于你”。
6. “I’d love to but…”
我很乐意,但是....。。
This is usually a gentle way of saying no to someone. Saying that you would love to do something shows that you like the other person’s idea but you just can’t do it。
这通常是一种非常绅士的拒绝他人的方式。告诉他人自己很乐意做,表示自己赞同他人的想法,但确实没法帮忙。
7. “No”
不行
This is the simplest and most direct way. Simply say “no。” There is no need to add any details unless asked for. We spend so much time thinking of good, elaborate excuses when being direct is often the simplest and best way。
这是最简单最直接的拒绝方式,就简单地回答对方“不行”。不需要给任何细节解释,除非对方问你。我们花了大量的时间去斟酌一些精心详尽的理由,然而直接一点才是最简单最好的方式。