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名师详细点评09年6月四级写作部分

2009-06-23 
写作在四六级中所占比例很大,四六级考试结束后,各大名师纷纷对写作进行了点评。

  Free Admission to museums

  越来越多的博物馆免费对外开放的目的是什么?

  也会带来一些问题;

  你的看法?

  本文属于社会类话题,继上次四级考试考查限塑令的意义之后,再次考查社会热点类话题也在情理之中。5月18日是“国际博物馆日”,各大媒体均报道过博物馆免费开放的信息,并讨论其利弊可见关注时事才能真正在考场上有话可说。

  本文属于社会类话题,继上次四级考试考查限塑令的意义之后,再次考查社会热点类话题也在情理之中。5月18日是“国际博物馆日”,各大媒体均报道过博物馆免费开放的信息,并讨论其利弊可见关注时事才能真正在考场上有话可说。

  第一段现象描述段,讲述现象并阐述目的。注意笔者在考前的模考串讲与四级冲刺课堂再三强调今年无论如何第一句话写的一定是“越来越”,这次果不其然。刚才通过监考的新东方同事了解到考场上无数考生写的第一句是more and more,可以想象阅卷老师看到这样的句型一定会感觉非常的恶心,笔者多次强调 “越来越”的多种写法,如a growing number of … there is an increase in the number of … 等等。

  阐述目的的时候要注意这样一个句型:the purpose of …is to :即以表示目的的名词作主语的时候,表语用不定式,这也是笔者在课堂上反复强调的。

  下面是笔者所写的第一段,仅供参考:

  In present-day society (或者at present), museums in growing numbers are opening to the public for free, which has aroused deep concern. Obviously the purpose of such a practice which has attracted lots of visitors is to broaden their horizons and enrich their mind.

  第二段是典型的利弊列举段。这是我在课堂上反复强调的十大功能段落之一。第一句一定是用套话:Just as the old saying goes,Every sword has two edges, and this issue is no exception.要求一般至少举出两个免费开放带来的问题,如果能举出3个论点那更好。如何去思考论点,我们在新东方课堂多次强调“裸奔法”,即从下面18个角度思考分论点:

  Money & Fun 金钱乐趣

  Society & Crime 社会犯罪

  Time & Space 时间空间

  Rights & Responsibilities 权利义务

  Environment & Health 环境健康

  Employment & Competition 工作竞争

  Culture & Population 人口文化

  Technology & Efficiency 科技效率

  Moral & Soul 道德精神

  对于本文可以从以下几个角度思考:

  1、 Money:经济角度:没有门票收入,很难维持博物馆的正常运转。

  2、 Culture& Environment:文化角度:大量观众涌入,素质较低的观众可能损坏文物,秩序混乱,乱丢垃圾对环境有危害。

  3、 Space:空间角度:博物馆空间有限无法接待大量游客。

  4、Crime 犯罪角度:大量游客会带来展品的安全问题。

  下面是笔者尝试写作的第二段,仅供参考:

  Just as the old saying goes, every sword has two edges, and this issue is no exception. Such a phenomenon has also bring about several consequences .First and foremost ,without the fees from visitors ,the museums may lack financial aid(划线部分可以替换为enough money) to operate normally, which may exert a negative influence on the development of the museums . What is more , when a multitude of visitors come to the museums , some of them may not cherish the museums and even damage the collections. Failure to recognize such a fact which is mentioned above will result in several serious consequences which we are unwilling to see.

  第三段:阐述作者自己的看法。有2种写法。写法一:一字不落地套用新东方上课所讲的段落,即双刃剑段落。

  From what we have discussed above, we can safely come to the conclusion that such a phenomenon should be viewed as a two-edged sword, which presents us with both benefits and troubles. But we should not give up eating for fear of choking. The best policy, as I see it, is to maximize its advantages and minimize their unhealthy influence, so that it can benefit us in a better way.

  写法二:看做建议措施段:从政府、媒体和公众三方提出建议措施。一方面应该继续免费开放,使公众受益。另一方面,应该严格规定杜绝游客不文明行为。

  From what we have discussed above, I can safely come to the conclusion that we should view such a topic objectively. On the one hand , the government should be sensible enough to continue to open to museums to benefit people from all walks of life. On the other hand, the mass media is supposed to enhance the public’s awareness of the significance of eliminating uncivilized behaviors. There is reason to believe that as long as the mass media ,the authorities and everyone involved spare to efforts to make full use of the museums , the museums will benefit us in a better way .only in this way can we have a better and brighter future.

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