THE PROBLEM 问题
I work for a small consultancy and over the past two years have fallen in love with someone senior to me. We are close friends and socialize and though I've never said anything, I think she knows how I feel. Sometimes I get mixed signals that may indicate she feels for me too. The rational part of me thinks of resigning so she is not compromised by my feelings (which have been noticed by colleagues). The fantastical side hopes that if I resign, I'd be able to ask her out. Any suggestions?
我在一家小型咨询公司工作。过去两年里,我喜欢上了一个职位比我高的人。我们是亲密的朋友,也有所交往。尽管我从没说过什么,但我想她知道我对她的感觉。有时我会接收到一些含混不清的信号,让我觉的她可能也对我有意思。理性的我考虑辞职,以免她因为我的感情(同事们已经看出来了)而受到伤害。而不切实际的我则幻想着,如果我辞职,就能够约她出去了。你有什么建议吗?
LUCY (Manager, male, 42) 露西(经理,男,51岁)
If you were a suitor in a fairy tale who had been set three tests to prove your love, you would certainly win your prize.
如果你是童话故事里的追求者,需要接受三个考验,以证明你的爱情,你肯定会赢得奖品。
You have loved this princess doggedly for two years. You are so worried about protecting her reputation that you are ready to give up your job in the deepest recession of your lifetime. And your most secret fantasy is not of ravishing her but of simply being able to ask her out.
两年来你坚定地爱着这位公主。你一心想着保护她的声誉,甚至准备辞去工作,哪怕你正面对这一辈子最严重的经济衰退。你内心最隐秘的幻想不是让她迷上你,而只是能够与她约会。
One doesn't get much more chivalrous than that.
没有人能够比你更具有骑士风度了。
Alas, this isn't a fairy tale; it is a common tale of office romance in which the doling out of prizes goes according to harsher rules.
哎,可惜这不是童话。这不过是常见的办公室恋情,发放奖品的规则要苛刻得多。
Your colleagues have noticed your devotion and are almost certainly laughing at you behind your back.What interests me more, though, is her reaction. Most women in offices find the doggy infatuation of male colleagues whom they do not desire irritating at best and repulsive at worst.
你的同事们已看出你倾心于她,他们肯定常常在背后笑你。但我更感兴趣的是她的反应。当被不喜欢的男同事迷恋上时,多数女人至少会觉得生气,最坏的可能是心生厌恶。
The fact that she is not put off by your attentions and is even prepared to favour you as a friend could mean that she is emotionally warped and gets a thrill out of being loved in vain by underlings.Or it could mean she is in love with you too.
她没有对你的关注感到反感,甚至准备把你当成好朋友,可能说明她情感上有些扭曲,下属徒劳的爱恋让她感到兴奋。要不就是她也喜欢你。
The only way to find out is to ask her. The good news is that there is absolutely no need to give up your job in order to do this. Half the population (including me, as it happens) meets their husband or wife at work and, as long as she isn't your direct boss and as long as you don't behave in a vulgar manner in the office, there is no reason you should not go out together.
想知道答案,唯一的办法是直接问她。好消息是,你绝对没有必要为此辞职。有一半的人(碰巧也包括我)是在工作中结识他们的伴侣的,只要她不是你的顶头上司,只要你不在办公室里炫耀,你们没有理由不能出去约会。
The only problem is what will happen if she says No. You will lose your special ambiguous friendship with her, and going to work with a broken heart may make the office a grim place for a while.
唯一的问题是,如果她拒绝你,后果会怎样。你会失去与她之间那种特殊而暧昧的友情,并带着一颗破碎的心去工作,有一段时间,办公室将成为你的伤心地。
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