2011高考英语满分作文赏析

2012-05-25

　作文题目

　　假设你是李华，你的英国笔友Bob将于九月到你所在城市的建新华文学校学中文，来信请你在学校附近为他找一套住房。请根据图画提供的信息，写信介绍住房的情况，并告知住房面积为25平方米，月租500元。

　　注意：

　　1.词数：100左右：

　　2.参考词汇：房租—Tent(n.).

　　I’m very happy to receive your letter, and I’m glad to hear that you will go to China to learn Chinese here. I have already found a fiat for you. It is on Fangcao Street, which is not far from Jianxin Chinese School. Bus No.11 can take you there, and it is one stop before the Chinese School. The flat is on the third floor with 3 rooms, one of which is bedroom, the other two are bathroom and kitchen. There are a bed, a sofa, a desk and some chairs in this 25 square-metres small fiat, and the rent is 500 yuan per month. Maybe this fiat is not as good as your wish, but I’ll try my best to meet your needs. If it is not suitable enough, write to me and I will look for another better place.

　　Hope you will come here soon!

　　All the best!

　　Yours, Li Hua

　　满分理由

　　本文格式正确，意思表述完整，行文流畅自然。作者在写作过程中注意长短句并用，还使用了以'which，’引导的非限定性定语从句，从而使文章层次分明，富于变化，不愧为考场佳作。

　　Dear Bob,

　　Welcome to China! You wrote to me to find a place for you.

　　I have found an apartment on Fangcao Street near Jianxin Chinese School. It is on the third floor and there’re three rooms in it: a bedroom, a kitchen, and a bathroom. There is a bed, a sofa, a desk and a chair in the bedroom. The house is 25 square metres and the rent is 500 yuan per month.

　　Also from this house you can get to your school easily. Just take the No.11 bus at the bus-stop in front of the building. It is only one stop. At last, will you please tell me the time you arrive? Then I’U be able to meet you at the airport, see you.

　　Best wishes !

　　Yours, Li Hua

　　满分理由

　　本文格式正确，内容完整，表述清楚，衔接紧密流畅，时态语态使用准确，特别是结尾末段适度的发挥，既充实了内容，又符合逻辑，成为本文与众不同的亮点。

　　Dear Bob,

　　How are you these days?

　　I’m so glad to know that you’ll come to our city to learn Chinese. You asked me to find a place for you. Now I’ve found one which I think is pretty good. The place is on Fang Cao Street which is near the No.11 bus stop. It’s just one stop away from Jianxin Chinese School.

　　There are three rooms, a kitchen, a bathroom and a bedroom. Though it is not very big, only 25 square metres, I think it is suitable. By the way, the rent is 500 yuan per month. I hope you’ll like it. If not, I’ll try to find another place for you.

　　Yours,

　　Li Hua

　　满分理由

　　本文内在逻辑性很强，由远及近。由外及内，层次分明，错落有致。同时让步状语从句运用得恰到好处，很出彩，再则结构完整，从开头的问候语到结尾都很完备。

　　Dear Bob,

　　I’m so glad that you are coming to learn Chinese here. I’ve already found you a house near our school. I’d like to tell you something about it.

　　You may get on No.ll bus at Fang Cao Street and the next stop is just Jian Xin Chinese School. The house is near the school. It is about 25 square metres. In the bedroom, there is a bed, a sofa standing against the wall and a table near the window. You may find a light on the table and a chair next to it. There are two other rooms connecting the bedroom. The left one is a bathroom and the right one is a kitchen. So you may cook by yourself. The rent for the house is 500 yuan per month. Hope you’ll enjoy staying here!

　　Yours,

　　Li Hua

　　满分理由

　　本文内容具体，详略得当，表述方式很有创造力和新意，长短句并用，语言结构富于变化，错落有致，顺畅圆润，尤其是情态动词和分词的运用很独到，为文章增色不少。

　　Dear Bob,

　　I’m glad to hear from you.

　　Welcome to our city in september. I’ve found a suitable house for you. The house is on Fang Cao Street, not far from the Jianxin Chinese School. If you take the No.11 bus, it is just one stop.

　　It is a flat on the third floor of a building. It has three rooms, a living-room, a bathroom and a kitchen. You can cook yourself. The mirror, the basin and the bathtub are very convenient for you. In the living-room, there is a bed, a sofa and a desk with chair. The desk is next to the window. It will be good for study. The total size is 25 square metres and the rent is 500 yuan a month.

　　Yours,

　　Li Hua

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